<?php
/**
 * <https://y.st./>
 * Copyright © 2015 Alex Yst <mailto:copyright@y.st>
 * 
 * This program is free software: you can redistribute it and/or modify
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 * but WITHOUT ANY WARRANTY; without even the implied warranty of
 * MERCHANTABILITY or FITNESS FOR A PARTICULAR PURPOSE. See the
 * GNU General Public License for more details.
 * 
 * You should have received a copy of the GNU General Public License
 * along with this program. If not, see <https://www.gnu.org./licenses/>.
**/

$xhtml = array(
	'<{title}>' => 'My mother lost her iPhone',
	'<{body}>' => <<<END
<p>
	Since I fixed my broken diet, my mood has vastly improved.
	I have not had a single day that I would describe as bad, having lived with depression up to that point.
	However, today didn&apos;t go as smoothly as it could have gone.
</p>
<p>
	First, my mother lost her iPhone.
	Sure, iPhones are locked down pieces of junk that aren&apos;t worth having, but they are expensive pieces of junk, so she&apos;s out a lot of money.
	She is unable to call the device from other mobiles, instead being sent stright to voice mail.
	She said it was about half charged when she lost it, and that it should have remained powered on for several more hours.
	She is therefor convinced it was stolen, which would not surprise me.
	She reported the device stolen to her carrier, Verizon (again, I know, not the best choice in carriers), and because she has iPhone insurance through Verizon, attempted to file a claim.
	The person on telephone support wanted her to do stuff from her computer, but her Windows machine has been unusable for months due to what may be a virus.
	Again, yes, Windows is a bad choice.
	Anyway, she borrowed my sister&apos;s laptop (mine can&apos;t be moved because of the dead battery) and attempted to follow their instructions.
</p>
<p>
	She couldn&apos;t figure out what was going on, so she had me deal with telephone support and had them walk me through the instructions.
	It turns out that they were trying to get my mother to install an EXE on my sister&apos;s laptop to allow them to control it remotely.
	This is just bogus.
	If they need control of the machine, they should perform the operation from the machines at their own office.
	If they need the action to be performed from our end, they should walk us through how to perform any needed action instead of trying to possess our machines from a distance.
	Instead of explaining their bad logic to them, I simple explained that EXEs won&apos;t run on the machine because, unlike my mother, my sister doesn&apos;t make the mistake of running Windows.
	They asked what the machine ran, so I told them it ran Linux.
	The support person asked if Linux was a Mac.
	I explained that Linux is sort of like a Mac, but that if she was going to try to have me install Mac software on the thing, it would not work because it does not run Mac software.
	She seemed confused, saying that the only things they know how to work with are Windows and Mac machines, but then she began walking me through the steps that she should have been trying to walk my mother through to begin with.
</p>
<p>
	First, we used one of Apple&apos;s websites to attempt to locate the device.
	As expected, this failed, as the device was powered off, either by the thief or by a dead battery.
	At this point, my mother took back the laptop and did the rest herself.
	She went to the Verizon website and deactivated the line, selecting &quot;lost/stolen device&quot; as the reason.
	This added the device to the blacklist, so the thief cannot use the device to get service.
	(Why do thieves steal mobile devices when they know such a blacklist is in place?) Next, tech support told her that to file the claim, my mother would have to pay a deductible.
	My mother was not happy about this, and asked how much the deductible would be.
	Tech support was unable to answer this for some reason, instead directed her to a third website, where she entered her carrier, telephone number, and ZIP code.
	It turned out the deductible is \$169 $a[USD].
	My mother was quite unhappy, and mentioned how she should have switched carriers.
	She keeps saying this, but refuses to actually make the leap to somewhere better.
	My mother is quite frazzled at the moment, but I think she&apos;s going to pay the deductible, get a new piece-of-junk iPhone, and stay with the country&apos;s worst carrier, Verizon.
</p>
<p>
	After all that, I sat down on my bed, which promptly broke.
	The metal bed frame snapped at the seam in two places.
	I know I&apos;m slightly overweight, but I&apos;m not <strong>*that*</strong> fat.
	Compared to a lost mobile, a broken bed frame isn&apos;t a big deal.
	However, it was a minor nuisance added to what was already a day that had gone off the rails.
	I had to move the bins out from under the bed, clear the top of the bed, overturn the bed frame, and put the mattress on the floor, all while I would have rather just been able to go to bed.
</p>
<p>
	<a href="/a/canary.txt">No one has attempted to prevent me from speaking my mind today.</a>
</p>
END
);
